Regrets
The Truth be told
Each day went by as the one before, the Old Knight would arise early and wait impatiently for his nurse to assist him to the garden where they would sit for ever-increasing amounts of time. He telling stories of the past, and she listening while holding a large bloom, pink in color in her hands, eyes never straying except to check on her patient when he paused.
His strength seemed to grow with each day. Though his strength grew, his wounds appeared resistant to everything the healers tried. The Old Knight grew tired of the healers potions and prodding.
"Leave me be!"
he'd shout whenever they'd touch a tender spot. "I healed up from a thousand such, just need a bit more time is all."Just as frustrated as he, they would walk away talking amongst themselves. He knew they were only trying to help, but he'd have none of it,
"I'll dang'd well heal up when I'm ready!" he shout after them in frustration.He soon found himself looking forward more and more to his time spent in the garden. He felt guilty for taking up so much of his nurses time, but it had been so long since he was able to just talk.
The two had been in the garden for but an hour or two when the Old Knight stopped in the middle of the battle of the Pirate coast. This brought his companion out of her own thoughts with a start.
She watched for a second or two before she asked if there was a problem.
"Hmmm? Oh, it just occurred to me I know not yer name lass."
Now it was her turn to stop. What would she tell him? It hadn't occurred to her that he might ask.
"Kylla M'Lord."
She answered with the name her father had always called her, hoping she'd had never spoken of it before."Kylla."
He said repeating the name, testing it for its rightness. "I like it, fits ya. Means sunrise does it not?" he asked."Aye M'Lord."
"Thought I'd recognized the accent, tis not strong but all the same, tis there."
He said smiling and turning his head towards the large bloomed rose she had grown to know recently."Mind if'n we just sit fer a bit Kylla, I'm a bit tired all of a sudden."
"As you wish M'Lord."
She answered not knowing what else to say.That was the last of the conversation that day. His mind seemed to go elsewhere, she wished she could go there with him, see what he saw.
After putting him to bed, she walked back to the garden and sat. She was becoming alarmed at his lack of healing, both physical and mental. Over the years she had kept track of him, marveling at his deeds and ability to continue his duties long after younger men had retired or were just plain unable to fight anymore.
She herself had long ago taken up the duties of a healers assistant, leaving the fighting to the young. Was she hiding too she wondered? Here was a man of the same age as she who had continued the battle long after her, and with the exception of his regrets, was as strong as the day she had met him.
"Ach!"
she exclaimed outloud. "Tha' man canna still get me blood up!"She sat outwardly silent from that point on trying to decide what to do. After many conversations with herself, she decided she'd find away to get him talking again about the one he'd left. She only hoped it did more good than bad. Before she left the garden she cut another rose to take with her to her room, hoping it might help give her strength. She was so deep in thought when she left the garden, she failed to notice the figure standing at the window overlooking the garden.
The next day went as usual, with the exception of Kylla being a bit preoccupied, which didn't go unnoticed by the Old Knight.
"Is there somethin tha matter Kylla?"
he asked.It was now or never she thought,
"Aye M'Lord.""Well speak up child, I'm afraid I've about run outta stories anyways."
"Tis the rose M'Lord."
She said and then paused."Aye."
He answered, "What of it?" he said a bit apprehensive."I cannae git over the thought that ya still might be able ta tell her."
The flood gate was open now, might as well get it all out she thought."Ya said yerself that ya dinnae know how she felt about ya. Maybe she felt the same, and has been waitin fer ya all these years!"
She had to stop herself, slow down a bit, "I'm Sorry M'Lord, I dinnae mean to git excited, it's just that it's such a lovely rose, and ya put so much into it...and.." he spoke up then."Ya may be right M'lady."
Was all he said, and it struck her like the back of his hand."What?"
she asked."I said ya may be right."
He said right back, "Though I know not how I'd say it, or for that matter where she be."Once again, she hadn't expected to get this far this quick. She didn't know how to answer now.
"What would you say Kylla? If'n you were in my position that is? Not seeing someone fer many years an ya wanna say,"
"Larene, I've been a fool. I walked away from the one person who could have made my life complete."
He was turned her direction now, blind eyes staring right into her very soul. "I fought battles in lands I cannae even remember! I'd gallop from battle to battle, never stoppin for fear that ya might be there behind me," he calmed his voice now, almost to a whisper, "an I might have ta face ya, an tell ya that I love you!""An if'n ya dinnae have tha same feel'ns, I'da not had tha strength ta continue. It were easier ta jus seal ya up."
He reached for her hand and put it over his heart.She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Her own heart was beating like a drum, threatening to burst from her chest!
"In here. Many was tha time the ownliest thing that got me by when I dinnae think I'd make it out alive, was that you were out there somewhere, and I hadn't told ya what I wanted too. I cou'nae die afore I told ya that I loved ya."
Tears feel silently down her cheek, forced out by her close eyes, not wantin to see, but ta listen.
"If'n ya felt tha same way as I, how can I forgive meself, knowin that I caused ya the same pain I been a carry'n aroun! Can ya forgive an old fool whose only fault was lovin ya too much."
He stopped and squeezed her hand gently.
"How was that Larene?"
he asked quietly."That was beautiful M'Lo...."
it was her turn to stop."What was that ya said?"
she asked fergett'n ta breath."Which part M'Lady?"
he asked haltingly.She felt his heart beat increase, threatening just as her own to leap from his chest.
"Tha last part."
She said after takin a quick breath."Can ya fergive an old fool whose only fault was lovin ya too much? That part?"
It was his turn to try an remember ta breath
."Tha....part after that."
She said slowly hoping for all the world she'd not imagined it."Oh.."
he replied softly, "How was that Larene?"At that, he reached down and scooped up the rose he knew had fallen from her hands. Even with blind eyes, he knew where it lay. He gently pulled off the thorns which still protected its fragile stem and placed it in her hand.
She opened her eyes slowly to stare at the rose in her shaking hand.
"Tis called 'A Knights Heart', an ya be holdin it in tha palm o yer hand."
he said through a restricting throat.